Talk:No Conscience/@comment-6732784-20130228165702

I don't think that anyone could recognize a severed limb or that much blood after such a fiery explosion. It would be more realistic, and possibly a better censor (without even removing the violence), to instead describe more unrecognizable charred remains. The imagery of burnt and unidentifiable parts are slightly (and only slightly) less disturbing than freshly hacked off bits of people.

Also I think that there could of been more of a connection between the first and second part of of the story... maybe just as simple as mentioning rumors going around the school about the explosion the night before.

One last critique would be the inconsistency of Fatal's weapon choice. He starts more primitive and simple, using poison and motov cocktails... THEN all the sudden... super-high-tech-death-ray! You should consider making a theme for his weapon choice. I felt that the common and mundane items he used before were a nice 'signature' for him.

I liked your ideas and writing style. With some work this could be a very interesting series once the plot thickens.